If I toss out words and phrases like resilient, confident, balanced, conscience, owning your voice, a balanced thinker, do you see yourself in those words? Do you identify those strengths as attributes in your life? If so, you are the definition of mentally strong. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back. Seriously, look at you having your life together…

But, there is a caveat to your celebration.

Not to burst your bubble, but each of us has our own definition of what it means to be mentally strong. Honestly, we do. Ask someone close to you what it means to them, and you’ll quickly learn how their definition varies from your own. Mostly, it comes down to how we think and which part of our brain rules our thoughts most of the time, whether it is the Wise Mind, the Emotional, or the Rational mind. (See Make Your Mind Your Greatest Ally to learn more about the benefits of the Wise mind.) Regardless, being mentally strong looks different for each of us. What may break you could bring out the spirit of determination and fight in another.

You’ve experienced it. I know you have. It’s speaking to a friend who has gone through hell, and you’ve sat back in awe. It’s the question of how someone overcame an obstacle so vast that it seems impossible to know how they ever began to move forward. Mental strength means having the ability to manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This goes for everything we engage in, from the habits we form, the thought patterns we keep, what we do, and the influences we allow in our space.

That seems confusing, doesn’t it? If our definitions are so individualized, how could anyone actually create a mentally strong standard for us to live by? What it comes down to is behavior. There are dozens of behaviors that people who are deemed mentally strong engage in, and it’s all about balance. This is the place we should all strive to meet daily.

So what are they?

Let’s break down the top core behaviors and see how your thinking stacks up.

The mentally strong prioritize “me” time.

I’m not talking spas and luxury bubble baths. I’m talking about serious time to be alone, to sit with themselves, and keep their mental health a top priority. It’s meditation, journaling, spiritual practices…

They do not fear taking risks or mistakes.

Say it with me, “What comfort zone?!” Good. Say it a bit louder this time. Yes! That’s it. The mentally strong look at change and welcome it with open arms. It all comes down to the lesson. When mistakes are made, mentally strong people are not frozen with fear because of the situation; they put a mental, emotional, and physical plan in place, so it does not occur again. Risks and mistakes are simple sidesteps in life, not dead ends.

The mentally strong do not let other’s behaviors or emotions derail their own happiness.

Can I get a hallelujah? Maybe an amen? This is a big one! You can have empathy and/or sympathy for someone without taking on someone else’s emotional state.

Many get empathy and sympathy confused. Empathy is having the capacity to understand or feel someone else’s experience. Sympathy is feeling for someone, but not necessarily fully understanding. As in, you have not had the displeasure of experiencing a similar situation.

You can operate from a place of both empathy and sympathy and remain grounded.

They use comparison to their benefit, not a detriment.

Comparison is often seen as something to avoid. When it comes to comparing yourself, yes, don’t do that, but using situations as a way to shift a perceptive, create a new path, or flipping what was once a negative in your favor, a comparison is an excellent guiding tool.

The mentally strong do not expect immediate results.

Things take time. Period. End of story. Yet, many do not allow what they want to unfold. They become upset, bogged down, and impatient when what they intend to create doesn’t appear overnight. The mentally strong know there is power in the wait, that the journey is just as important as the destination, and everything worth having must be allowed to find its own perfection.

They do not give up.

Failure is a part of learning. Any successful person will tell you that their failure to success ratio is pretty damn close, at least at the beginning of anything. Even at the height of their success, failure is not off the table. Mentally strong people know this truth and move forward anyway. That takes us back to our chant. “What comfort zone?!”

The mentally strong choose their thoughts.

Here’s the deal; it’s impossible to be negative and have real mental strength. Negative thoughts breed lack and disempowered behavior. You may think that negative thoughts or situations create tough-as-nails thinking, but all it actually does is create negative patterns that never serve. The mentally strong think productively.

The mentally strong evaluate their core beliefs often.

What is a belief? It’s nothing more than a thought that you’ve practiced long enough that it becomes a core piece of how you operate. If that’s the case, doesn’t that mean you have the power to change your beliefs at any time? Yes, it does. The mentally strong are mindful thinkers. They know what works for them and what doesn’t. When they see an old belief popping up, they work to redefine and reevaluate. If your beliefs have held you in place, know that you have the power to make a mental switch.

WRAPPING UP, there they are—the core operations of the mentally strong. How did you fare? How many of these behaviors are in your usual thought patterns and actions? I bet you have several of these behaviors already in play and have never thought about or realized how they shape your overall thinking and existence. Mindset is everything, and the mentally strong know just how to keep theirs directed in an upward trajectory. Now, you do too.

Danielle A. Vann is a 19-time international award-winning author, a certified Life Coach with a specialty certification in mindfulness, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and a certified meditation coach. She is also the creator behind Get Your Life Together, Girl. To learn more, visit the bio page, and follow @Getyourlifetogethergirl on Instagram.

Copyright of Author Danielle A. Vann 2020