Balance and fulfillment go hand-in-hand. To be out of balance means to be at odds with yourself, to be in a space where what you want and need are out of alignment with where you are. Yet, most women will say they are fulfilled but don’t live balanced lives.

Valentina from Puerto Rico wrote in and said: Danielle, I am a member of your Women’s Circle and was working through the exercise: Getting to the Root of Anxiety. The first words you wrote are: Anxiety can own us. However, if we get to the root of our anxiety, we have the power to change the story that is happening within our minds. I have been sitting with this thought for a few days, and I’ve realized that the root of my anxiety generally comes down to never feeling like I have balance. While I see some exercises in the circle regarding balance, I was hoping you could help me know how to make changes to create more life balance.

Here’s the exercise mentioned: Getting to the Root of Anxiety — Danielle A. Vann - Get Your Life Together, Girl (danielleavann.com)

This is surprisingly straightforward. It all hinges on exactly what you mentioned, Valentina; sitting with it, asking yourself some firm questions, and committing to living the answers you uncover.

So, let’s dive into the five beginning steps to put balance in place.

Step 1: Ask yourself: “What do I want?”

Then, when you know what you want, sit with it for at least 48 hours and then move into step 2.

Step 2: Double check. Ask yourself: Is what I’ve said I want really what I want?

Our answers can differ when we give ourselves time to think about it.

When we know what keeps us out of balance, we can devise a plan to get us into balance.

Step 3: We ask ourselves the third question, and that is: What am I not paying attention to in my life right now?

What are you not focusing on that would unlock your sense of balance?

Sometimes the answer to this question impacts your answer as to what you want, so take time to make any necessary adjustments or modify the original thought or goal.

This part can be confusing for some, so let me give you another example. Let’s say you want more free time. You feel this is the way you’ll create balance. But you have a longstanding habit of taking on new things because you get excited about the possibilities and ignore the consequences of taking on something new—which is an even greater lack of free time.

Step 4: What is the easiest step I can take right now or this week to help me get to my want?

Having identified it, make an agreement with yourself that you will not take steps and actions toward making your “it” happen.

Create your plan. Imagine the next few steps you must take and look at the habits you must shift to keep the want in your center focus.

Step 5: Commit to staying focused and set up review times. So for some, they need to do this every two weeks in the beginning. From there, maybe you check in every quarter or six months.

Remember, balance is about feeling good. It’s about holding space for yourself. It’s about doing what you need and want to reach a place where there’s grace, self-love, inner peace, and a willingness to show up for yourself. And like anything we do together, this takes practice. So, get to practicing balance!

I hope this gives you some tools and insight into how you can make this shift!

Thank you so much for the question, Valentina! I challenge each of you to you reset your mindset.   

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