Goals: Why They Fail & How To Plan Your Way To Success

Admittedly, I’m a goal-oriented person, but even being goal-oriented does not equal immediate success.

As we move through December and look toward rounding out the year that is 2020, it’s important we begin directing our thoughts toward what we want to leave behind and what we want to create in the year ahead. Global pandemic or not, remember, our outside circumstances do not have to determine how we show up. Now is definitely the time to up our overall life strategy, thus the need to create goals.

Now, let’s get one thing straight; I’m not talking about setting resolutions. Resolutions tend to fail due to their nature. They are often short-term, short-lived, and undeveloped. I’m talking about setting achievable goals that move us into a new phase of growth, accomplishment, and enhance our quality of life.

Here’s the truth, goals are more critical to our overall sense of happiness than most people believe. Goals are thoughts that we’ve sculpted into something more, which directs our actions. If used correctly, they help us feel complete in our sense of purpose. They can even help redefine our beliefs if we train our minds to see and acknowledge the positive movement they create.

Of course, by nature, we all have things we want to accomplish. Yet, many do not think about the full picture—“the why,” “the how,” and “the when” at the on-slot of a new goal.

It doesn’t matter whether your goals center around your health, mindfulness, wealth, professional ambitions…there are mindful, concrete steps you must take to create a well-thought-out plan that helps produce long-term results.

Before we dive into creating a plan, which will be for a later blog, I want to give you a list of sound questions that can help bring insight into any goal. Knowing these factors sets you up for success in a far greater way than simply jumping in mindlessly.

It’s also important to understand that there is a significant difference between setting a goal and setting the “right” goal. A new study found that people who live mindfully set far more sustainable goals because they understand themselves, their value and talents, and their interests, to name a few. Besides being mindful, you need to be clear about what you want from the goal, be able to define it, and be ready to move toward action once, and only once, you can answer the next ten questions with unwavering confidence.

THE QUESTIONS:

1.       Why?

Why is this goal your goal? Why do you want to accomplish this action now, in the present moment? Is this goal a one-off, meaning does it stand alone, or is it a part of an overall plan?

2.    What specifically do you want to accomplish? Can you detail the “what” you are trying to achieve?

For example, “getting in shape” is not a goal. It’s a statement, an idea. It’s the exact making of any New Year’s resolution that will likely go sideways. Think about it, people declare they want to get into shape, join a gym, go for a couple weeks, and then end up paying the monthly gym fees until they admit they have given up. Why does this happen? There isn’t enough meat to the idea to keep it sustainable. The “what” of trying to lose weight would be a firm goal of, say, losing fifteen pounds or training to run a 5K—those are firm “what’s.” A general statement lacks motivation.

3.    Who does the goal belong to?

 This is a major question to ask yourself. Is this your goal? Does the goal belong to your boss and you’re a mere contributor to the overall plan? Is it your spouse’s? Is the goal being handed down from a parent or a family member? Make sure you are creating and working toward personal goals. When the goal does not belong to us, we tend to give a smaller percentage of ourselves. That is true unless there are great benefits that will impact us once a community or joint goal becomes a reality.

4.    Is this goal realistic? Can the action actually be achieved? 

How many times have each of us set lofty goals and realized we’ve bitten off more than we can chew? Plenty of times, right? Setting realistic goals helps keep us motivated and hitting our marks. Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe that absolutely anything is possible! But, I also acknowledge that things take time to unfold. Set big goals, lofty ones even, but make sure you allow time for the plan to evolve.

5.    Speaking of time to unfold, the next question to ask yourself is, “What will you do to make progress?”

Let’s say your goal is to write a book. Firm goals will be necessary to make progress! How will you get started? How will you get to the end? What will you do to make progress until step one of the goal, writing the actual book, is complete? It doesn’t matter what the goal is—writing, weight loss, job advancement, working on your marriage or relationship, going back to school—literally, it doesn’t matter, how will you get there?

6.    Most people put big goals into two frames: impossibly short timeframes or impossibly non-sustainable future-based outcomes that take forever to come to fruition. Generally, by the time we get to the long-term outcomes, we’ve moved on and have lost interest. Even if the goal is achieved, it’s often lost its luster by the time it is physically active in our lives. The vital question to ask here is, “Is there a way to get to your goal in a timely manner?”

7.    Are your goals written down?

You do not have to share them publicly, but writing a goal down makes it tangible. This also keeps us focused. When we write, we anchor (see post here). Telling your storyteller, A.K.A. the mind, to connect feeling and excitement to the goal will help keep the goal upfront and center in your thoughts. This is important if we want to keep movement and excitement around what we are working to create. So, commit! Write your goals down. You will thank yourself later.  

8.    When we set goals, we want to set markers to measure our success. So, ask yourself, “Will I look at my goal daily? Will I look at it once a week? Once a month?” Set review periods to help you stay focused. If you have trouble remembering to check-in, set an alert in your digital calendar. This will help keep you accountable.

9.    Is my goal flexible or rigid?

If  “the how” you are using to get to the end of your goal must take an alternative route, will you be willing and/or able to adapt? Or is your goal rigid with only one way to achieve it and only one outcome? This is important to address before you begin the planning stage.

10. What is your deadline?

Goals need deadlines. Leaving any goal open-ended welcomes in potential goal fatigue. Set deadlines and hold yourself accountable.

WRAPPING UP: Reaching goals is not always easy, but they are obtainable if you create a clear vision, establish your motivates, give your reasons why, commit to a timeline, stay consistent, and objective. Having goals allows us to see beyond today’s work and keeps us motivated to create a better tomorrow through a mindset of right now. What will you be working to release, elevate, or create in this coming year?

Danielle A. Vann is a 19-time international award-winning author, a certified Life Coach with a specialty certification in mindfulness, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and a certified meditation coach. She is also the creator behind Get Your Life Together, Girl. To learn more, visit the bio page, and follow @Getyourlifetogethergirl on Instagram.

Copyright of Author Danielle A. Vann 2020