Are You Truly A Genuine and Authentic Person?
Well, are you truly a genuine and authentic person?
You’ve already answered the question, haven’t you?
Before you speak your answer aloud, I want to lay a few ideas on you—truths that may shift your perspective and help you level up. At least, that is what this knowledge did for me some time ago.
Authentic living requires a certain level of transparency, grounding, integrity, and vulnerability across all aspects of our lives—our thoughts, intentions, emotions, actions…every element. Many have a skewed and nearsighted understanding of what it means to be a genuine person. Most see it only as the mechanism of being impeccable with their words. Yet, it’s so much more than that.
The operation of living genuinely asks us to fully be ourselves in those aspects. When we do so, we likely feel purposeful and even significant in our lives. I often speak about the importance of understanding our emotions because our emotions are authentic. How you feel is real to you no matter the circumstance. That isn’t to say the thoughts that sparked the feelings are the truth. It’s to say how we feel, at any given moment, is our truth.
Yet, if you do not live genuinely, there will always be a gap between what you feel, what you want, and who you are working to become.
How are you doing, my friend? Are you beginning to question your previous answer?
Don’t worry. There are several ways to measure where you on the authenticity scale.
1. AUTHENTIC PEOPLE DO NOT TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE THEM.
Some people simply will not like you. Period.
Many people have a hard time coming to terms with this fact. It’s important to know that not everyone is meant to make a positive impact, to be our closest friends, or to take up any amount of space in our lives. Most of us have an innate understanding of this concept. Yet, we still fall short and painfully try to force the disingenuous connection for the sake of a relationship. Authentic people are comfortable with keeping their circles small in favor of real relationships.
In the same vein, genuine people are willing to make unpopular decisions if it best serves what they are seeking. That is not to say they choose to hurt others. It is to say they are willing to do what is best for them, no matter what others thinks.
2. THEY FORGE THEIR OWN PATHS.
This may be one of my favorite aspects of genuine people. Those who live authentically do so through healed history. They understand that what they have lived through was never against them, but in fact, has always been for them. What was once a trial becomes motivation and the opener for forging their own paths. Talk about beautiful. On this path, authentic people are not swayed by what others place value in and on. Instead, they know their intentions, which lead to both their thoughts and actions. Between healed history, determination, and self-understanding, genuine people rely on their internal compass to be their guide.
3. GENUINE PEOPLE DO NOT SEEK VALIDATION THROUGH THINGS.
As their internal guide is sparked and active, authentic people have strong, measurable inner confidence. This is a natural occurrence of owning your existence and experiences. Meaning, those who live this way are confident with what and who they are. That is not say that outside validation is a bad or negative thing—it’s to say authentic people do not set out to seek other’s opinions to live their lives. More so, they do not constantly seek validation from the possessions they acquire, either. Having a large home, the best car, the latest gadget does not add to your value; it only speaks to your ability to purchase the latest and greatest.
Remember, you are not what you have, what you seek to purchase, and the opinion of others.
4. AUTHENTIC PEOPLE RESERVE JUDGMENT.
We are meaning-making machines. To learn more, read this post. Simply put, we attach meaning and connection to everything we experience because our brains are wired to do so. Attaching meaning, however, is different from judgment. Most of us get this wrong. We tend to think our feelings validate how we view things. Yet, judgment gets in the way of authenticity. Having an open mind is a critical function in life.
If your opinions are always set, how will you expose yourself to new ideas?
Remember, you do not have to agree with everything that comes into your life, nor do you have to condone them. It’s not our job to fix someone else, to tell him or her how to be, in the same way, you do not want someone to do so to/for you.
Authentic people are open. If something does not work for you, all you have to say is, “That’s an interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing it with me.” Then, you simply move on.
5. GENUINE PEOPLE ARE GENEROUS.
Many people connect generosity to the giving of money. However, being generous takes on many different forms. I’ve always said that the knowledge I acquire is never for me to keep. It has always been meant to teach or help others. Think of the resources you have readily available in your life, the resource of time, of space, of friendship… Are you generous with all of your resources?
6. THEY TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT.
It’s important to realize no one is better or more important than you. No one is less than or unworthy of you, as you are not less than or better than them. Each of us came here with different talents and abilities. While some do not subscribe to this idea, it’s still essential to maintain and treat others with respect for your own well-being.
Think about it like this. When you first meet someone, what’s one of the first questions asked? “What do you do for a living?” For children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” These questions are used to gauge the level of respect the asker is willing to give to you. Just remember, what you value may not be what someone else values. What you find important quite possibly has never been on someone else’s radar. If that is the case, how can we value people by what they do? It’s our job to respect others, regardless of their life’s conditions.
7. AUTHENTIC PEOPLE ARE THICK-SKINNED.
Simply put, they are so grounded in who they are that feedback and criticism (see this post for more on this topic) does not rock them.
8. THEY ARE NOT DRIVEN BY THEIR EGO.
The ego is a tricky beast. It often asks, “What can you do for me?” It says, “Look at me.”
Authentic people seek to serve others while viewing life as a gift. They look for abundance in everything. Life is about the journey and gaining wisdom, love, connection, and belonging.
The ego-driven person serves himself or herself and is drawn to things. They require outward recognition and see life as a competition. The ego feels and focuses on lack, and it often lives a life centered around complaint.
Being authentic opens the door to the most genuine beauty of life. When you are not driven by the ego, the things the ego must be fed by show up in a more significant and more fulfilling way.
9. LAST, GENUINE PEOPLE ARE NOT HYPOCRITICAL.
As I said before, this is where most people begin and end their definitions of authenticity. Not being hypocritical not only means you are self-aware, but it also means you practice what you preach. Remember, sometimes it’s easier to see someone’s misstep than it is to see our own. However, if you are offering advice and doing the opposite, you are engaging in hypocritical behavior. It’s then that authenticity has ceased being a factor.
IN CONCLUSION, that’s the authenticity scale. So, let me ask you again, are you truly a genuine and authentic person? Have you discovered there are pieces you need to refocus on or perhaps create for the first time? It’s never too late to focus on the small details that help you craft something more.
Danielle A. Vann is a 19-time international award-winning author, a certified Life Coach with a specialty certification in Mindfulness, a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and a certified meditation coach. She is also the creator behind Get Your Life Together, Girl. To learn more, visit the bio page, and follow @Getyourlifetogethergirl on Instagram.
Copyright of Author Danielle A. Vann 2020