Epi 81: Are You Practicing Fierce Self-Kindness with Rosie Aiello
If I were to ask you if you practice self-kindness or fierce loving kindness, could you honestly say yes? Practice as in this is a daily focus.
Most women struggle in this area.
And that’s why I sat down with Rosie Aiello, founder of the Love is Kind network, to talk about how we can bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
Rosie’s story spans the globe as she found herself in a foreign country married to an abusive husband. As the abuse escalated, their daughter Sunny helped Rosie hatch an escape plan that will leave you in awe.
Since returning to the United States, Rosie has built a network and a global movement to teach women how to fiercely be in loving, kind relationships, both with themselves and others. Rosie hands over some of those methods today. You’ll want to listen to the very end!
Key Takeaways:
00:00 Introduction
01:47 Rosie’s story begins and how her abuse was the root of her relationship
04:17 How Rosie’s daughter Sunny was her mother’s defender
06:12 Verbal abuse became Sunny’s borderline. It’s time to go forward with the escape of their lives
10:29 As their feet hit American soil, physical freedom begins
12:12 Abusive partners do not give up easily—the switch was ready to flip
14:58 Physical freedom is the easiest part. The healing journey begins with self-affirmations
17:07 Complex PTSD: a normal reaction to a horrible situation
21:06 How the Love is Kind Network was born
21:56 You do not have to be healed to start a new life
26:00 How we help our children through this growth and change
28:13 Purpose is often found in pain. Where we begin moving through turning loving kindness on ourselves
30:46 Sometimes, we don’t know how to be our authentic selves or how to love ourselves. Yet, most of us know how to be kind. That’s where we start
34:08 Fear is a liar. There is always help
34:33 Steps to find loving kindness for the self
35:12 Step 1: Self-care is mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual care
36:00 Step 2: Look at yourself. What are your values? What’s important to you?
37:00 Step 3: Personal boundaries are not negotiable
38:00 Step 4: Showing up every day. You do not have to settle for anything less than what you want and desire
41:56 Understand that you will have a setback, but it’s a part of life and trauma
42:54 Do not do this hard work alone. There are resources. “This is just not work to do by yourself. This is a deep core belief.”
45:42 The life you want is possible, but first, you must believe you can change your life
47:05 To move forward, you must learn how to progress your emotions. If you are doing the “overwork,” you may lack emotional intelligence or understanding. What’s you know your red flags?
51:18 Put your life into practice
53:23 Self-grace is critical, and your vision can and does change
56:04 Half of the time your life won’t be great, and the other half will be great – accept this fact and stop pushing for constant happiness
58:14 Carry around a journal to understand the unhelp thoughts. It’s time to learn new truths about who you truly are
61:00 What Rosie wished she knew about shame during the years of her abuse
62:30 When we lean into vulnerable, we begin to realize that no one among us has not experienced shame
64:40 Rosie’s three powerful things
Sadly, since we recorded this episode, Rosie’s daughter Sunny passed away unexpectedly. Everyone in the Get Your Life Together, Girl family offers our deepest sympathy and love to you, Rosie.
We know that you will carry the torch that Sunny lit and will continue to serve women and free their lives and hearts from less than they deserve. If you want to join the Love is Kind Network, head to www.loveiskindnetwork.com. You can also find the Love is Kind Network on Facebook.
July 27th is Love is Kind Day—a day Rosie and her daughter founded together. It’s the day that they found their way home and into a life that was first about learning kindness and now spreading it.
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