Epi 337: Maybe It’s Not About You
Sometimes our problems stem from taking things too personally. Today's episode is about learning not to see everything as an attack or personal affront. We'll explore how to shift away from negative self-talk often rooted in trauma and lacking emotional support. For those who are quick to feel hurt or responsible for others' actions, this one is for you. This tendency can lead to anxiety and stress which leads to low self-esteem. It's crucial that we understand the difference between what belongs to us emotionally and what doesn't.
We’re breaking it all down!
Strategies Discussed:
Challenge Assumptions: Ask yourself critical questions about your perceptions in emotionally charged moments.
Therapeutic Approaches: Consider therapies like CBT or group therapy for deeper issues related to trauma or insecurity.
Boost Self-Esteem: Work on improving your view of yourself; higher self-esteem reduces sensitivity to criticism.
Curiosity Over Insecurities: Investigate what triggers your insecurities when faced with hurtful situations.
Letting Feelings Pass: Accept negative emotions without dwelling on them excessively—acknowledge but don't ruminate.
Actionable Tips:
Practice emotional resilience by asking clarifying questions during conflicts instead of immediately reacting with hurt feelings.
Give people the benefit of the doubt; misunderstandings happen frequently and it’s seldom all about you.
To combat taking things too personally:
1. Challenge assumptions: Was this really directed at me? Am I being oversensitive?
2. Consider if feelings will pass naturally.
3. Improve self-esteem: Work on how you perceive yourself.
4. Reflect on insecurities: What triggers sensitivity?
5. Embrace positive aspects of sensitivity like compassion.
6. Practice emotional resilience by asking questions instead of reacting impulsively.
7. Don’t dwell on every situation; seek clarity rather than assuming the worst.
Remember that being sensitive can have benefits like deeper relationships but don’t let it overwhelm you—seek help if needed so minor criticisms don't disrupt daily life disproportionately.
Lastly, practice self-compassion by acknowledging feelings without dwelling negatively on them—focus on growth over control since we cannot dictate others' behaviors or reactions but only our responses.
Additional Resources Mentioned:
Positive Affirmations Course: Learn how positive affirmations combined with brain chemistry can enhance emotional regulation.
Empath Burnout Episode: Understand if you're an empath and learn strategies for managing burnout
After years of prioritizing others, you may feel too drained to care when they start treating you better. You might not believe them because it's different from your past experiences. It's normal but remember, self-awareness can change everything. Focus on what you want to feel and how you want to live.
Ask yourself if the approval of others is truly important or if apologizing constantly is worth it. Are anxiety and poor self-esteem defining your life? To move forward, don't take on burdens that aren't yours. Practice the tools I've shared; change takes time.
One key question to ask in any situation is: "Is this about me?" If yes, explore deeper; if no, let it go. Recognize that not everything involves us and owning that helps put our lives together.
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