Epi 41: Navigating Uncoupling, Co-Parenting, & Leaning into Radical Compassion with Resilience Coach Kimberly Smith

 

“I do feel that men need to be empowered in their fatherhood, right. Yes, I’ve lived that life of feeling like I was unappreciated and taken advantage of and everything, but what happens when Dad typically goes to do

something. The

mom steps in and says, “No, no, no, not like that. I’ll do it.” It’s easier to do it ourselves than to ask someone else. What happens when you do that? You disempower him completely from figuring it out. In co-parenting, you have to let people figure it out. You have to build people up, too, so they can feel confident. From there, things get even better.”

• Kimberly Smith

With February being the month of celebrating relationships, it’s time to focus on creating the most robust connections we can, both inside and outside of ourselves. Yet, this is a different angle; today, we are looking at the shift in a relationship and what happens when we uncouple and even divorce, especially when children are involved.

We’re chatting with Resilience Coach Kimberly Smith, who walks us through the dissolve of her marriage, the conscious choices they made to create a safe emotional environment for their daughter, how self-love must be the root of all relationships, and how to co-parent in a way that serves not only the children but also the adults. In all of that, we break down how to mindfully create a new life after any significant transition.

Be prepared to shift your mindset, as Kimberly offers a new perspective on creating a family unit after calling the relationships quits.  

Key Takeaways:

00:00 Introduction

01:50 Kimberly story begin, and the unfolding of how she found the courage to find herself and a new path

03:55 Uncovering the core of Kimberly’s stress and anxiety

05:01 How the marriage contributed to her breaking point

06:05 The common narrative that doesn’t serve us when it comes to marriage and how self-abandonment often occurs

09:10 The guilt of wanting more and handling intrusive thoughts

14:42 Emotions and attachments change and how that impacts connection

18:37 Creating and navigating a friendship after divorce

20:27 The creation of spheres and how this serves everyone

24:27 Self-care and creating a support system, both inside and outside

27:45 Habits that build self-compassion both internally and with an ex-spouse

28:40 Diving headfirst into the hustle and learning that we do need other people in our lives

31:00 Dealing with shame and judgment

32:29 The Ins and Outs of Co-Parenting

          The spheres of operating within

          Compassion is a safety net

          Support System

          Communication is key

          Making decisions as a family

          Allowing time for the child/children to have both parents available

38:34 A profound motto for any family

39:22 Our words matter in front of and to our children. Keeping wraps on negative communication in front of the children.

42:28 Empowering ex-spouses in their parenting styles and journey  

48:47 Kimberly’s divorce and transition guidebook

54:26 Excellent tools to employ self-care, self-love, and self-support

57:37 Kimberly’s 3 things

What Kimberly said is so true. Our children are equal parts of the people we bring them into the world. We owe it to them to show as our best self, through our healed stories, and if possible, through the partnerships that support everyone involved.

If you want to learn more about Kimberly and her programs, visit www.emcompasscoachingservices.com or follow her on Instagram at @kimberly.brooke.smith.

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