Whether you realize it or not, you set the tone of how others will and do interact with you. When you respect yourself, it’s obvious, and most of the time, others around you show up with their respect for you on point. But what happens when you don’t trust yourself, when you don’t have self-respect? It seems pretty apparent that’s when trouble ensues.

Samantha from London, England, wrote in and said, “Danielle, I love your mindset resets, so I’m hoping you can help me with my mindset around self-respect. Here’s my backstory: I grew up with a great family. I don’t have a ton of trauma, at least not like what I’ve heard about on your show. I am married to a wonderful man. I’ve done okay in my career. My kids are healthy and seem pretty happy, but I still struggle with respecting myself. I’m not sure why. Maybe I don’t know what self-respect is. Can you help me see if I respect myself? I hope that doesn’t sound like a stupid request! What am I missing? Are there signs? If I could control this part of myself, I would have more space to grow, as you talk about.”

Samantha, first, there is never such a thing as a stupid request when you are seeking understanding. What we don’t know, we don’t know. Period. Until we seek answers or solutions, how are we to learn?

What is self-respect?

Self-respect is an admiration for yourself in terms of what you’re capable of, who you are, and what you can achieve.

It means honoring your principles before anyone and anything else. It means trusting yourself to say and do only what feels true and honors your core values, needs, emotions, and grounded thoughts. It’s developed and grown through listening to and respecting that voice inside you at all times, but especially when you feel fearful, reluctant, or unsettled. It’s humble pride and confidence in yourself grounded in dignity, resilience, and strength. It’s prioritizing yourself.

We can look at a few signs to know if your self-respect is lacking.

The first one is you are a doormat.

The second is you lose yourself in a relationship—either romantic or friendship.

Third, you do things for attention.

Forth, your self-respect is diminished or absent if you indulge in your bad habits in excess.

Fifth, you tolerate things in your life you know you don’t deserve.

Let’s change this story…

The love we often let go of first is the love of ourselves and if you want greatness to flow through you and into your life, you must love, honor, and respect yourself, too.  

How?

Set boundaries!

Stop putting yourself down.

Learn to Manage your emotions.

Learn to stand up for yourself.

Do the right thing.

Be yourself and march to your own beat.

Samantha, I hope this helps you see where you may need to shift to elevate. You are not broken, my dear. You are not lacking. But maybe you are in need of making some small changes to create big wins! I challenge you all to do the same!

To hear the full breakdown and tools provided, listen to the full episode.

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