Fear is one of the most powerful emotions. It ranks right up there, at least in my mind, with grief. It’s a liar. It’s a thieve. And yet, its intention is good. It’s meant to keep you safe. But, for many, fear keeps them paralyzed, shut down, and living in a way that is strictly in survival and never touching the beauty of joy, which is, of course, a birthright to all of us.

Jill Gibson from New Hampshire wrote in and said, “Danielle, I’m not sure where to start. I suppose I should just say the word in my head most days—fear. I was talking to a dear friend a few months ago, and she pointed out that I am constantly fearful but also doing everything I can to avoid it. I’ve struggled with this thought since she spoke those words. I feel this is a truthful assessment of where I am, but I do not know how to get out of it. I would love to hear your advice.”

Thanks, Jill. Fear is interesting, and what Jill said at the beginning of her statement is on point. She said quote, “I should just say the word in my head most days—fear.”

Fear is absolutely experienced in your mind, but it goes beyond that, and I want to take a moment to let you know what happens because it points out how unsustainable and exhausting it is to live in fear. So, as soon as you experience fear in the mind, it triggers a strong physical reaction within the body. Your amygdala, the small organ in the middle of your brain, goes to work. It alerts the nervous system; like hey friend, we have a problem here, and that sets your body’s fear response into full motion.

Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released. Your blood pressure and heart rate increase. You start breathing faster. Your liver is triggered to produce and dump sugar into the bloodstream. Even your blood flow changes. Your blood actually flows away from your heart and into your limbs, making it easier for you to fight. Your body is preparing for survival. And yet, as parts of your brain rev up, other parts shut down. Your cerebral cortex, which is responsible for reasoning and judgment, becomes impaired. So forget clear thinking or good decision-making. Your brain is foggy. Your body is overactive.

With that being said, fear is something we need to help us understand our environment, but it is not something we want to live in.

How do we get out of fear?

The first place I start if you are sitting in session and you bring up you are living in fear, the first question out of my mouth will be: why? Why do you have fear?

The only way to confront fear is to get a grasp on it.

Once you identify that, you can move to the next phase of processing, which is understanding how this is impacting you. How is fear showing up in your life?

From there, you start challenging both the why and the how, you question the beliefs behind both.

Next, we lean into solution.

As the solution is in motion, we go back to the idea of safety. When your brain’s job is to keep you safe and that safety has been rocked, you must make it a point to be your safest place again.

Beyond these small pieces of beginning to explore fear, talk to someone.

Jill, thank you for your question. While these pieces may feel elementary, these are the first places we start with anything. We want to be able to address what is happening from different angles so that we make the change long-lasting.

To hear the full breakdown and tools provided, listen to the full episode.

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Danielle Vann

Danielle A. Vann is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Life Coach to women, Meditation Instructor, and international award-winning author.

https://www.danielleavann.com
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EPI 148: Changing the “Superhighway” in the Brain with Adalina East

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Epi 146: Breaking Up with Broken