Let’s face it; relationships can be hard. This is especially true when we are talking about long-term, romantic relationships. When we know our partners intimately, we often tend to forecast or assume we know what they are thinking, how they will respond, what they need, want, like, you get it, all the things. Yet, that assumption or lack of discovery questions is where we first trip up and cause our own problems.

Davida from Puerto Rico wrote, “Danielle, I’ve been married for twenty-one years. We love and respect one another. However, I’ve noticed in the last two years that our communication has changed. We both have grown so much individually and within our marriage. We both consider our marriage to be solid, but we’ve begun to notice minor disagreements on things like doing the dishes or what time our oldest child has to be home are turning into bigger issues than they should be. Is there something we can do to help guide one another through these moments? I find myself mad at him and want him to respond differently. He becomes mad at me. Sometimes we talk it out. Sometimes it sits and waits for a few days. It’s not a healthy cycle. What do you suggest?”

Your mind is a thought machine. Your emotions are its support system. They work together to create action. And yet, no matter what you’ve thought in the past or even uttered, the phrase and thought pattern of “It is what it is” is both flat wrong and oddly true, all at the same time!

Now, let’s get to it. Bonnie from Seattle, Washington, wrote, "Danielle, I am hoping you can help me. My partner and I were having a conversation about not being where we want to be just yet. He has a different mindset than I do. He is much more relaxed and I am much more focused on getting to the next level. He says I’m missing the journey. I say that cliché. Is it really that important to celebrate the small stuff? I know you talk about being present, intentional, and mindful, but does all that stuff really make a difference? I think I’m asking you to convince me I’m right and he is wrong. Is that bad?”

Most of us experience times in our lives when we don’t feel good enough. We struggle with ourselves and wonder why life seems so much easier for everyone else.

Carolina F from Dayton, Ohio, wrote: “Danielle, I wish I could express how much I’ve learned from listening to your podcast. What I’m writing about is the one place that I can find myself back sliding into, which is the feeling of not feeling good enough. What do you suggest that we all have this thought in our heads to get out of it? Thanks for the work you do.” st is helping you get your life together! I love that you are already experiencing a difference, and to answer your question: yes! There are roughly seven key areas that have dynamic impacts on us. And you’ve already hit on one—sleep! So, let’s jump in and chat about those things. And there is good news for everyone, these impacts are some of the easiest things to change!

Our habits have a way of defining our lives. What we don’t do is often as important as what we do.

This week’s question comes from Ash Moore in New York City, NY. She wrote in and said, “Hi, Danielle. I’ve been listening to your podcast religiously for six months now. I take notes and do my best to put what you teach into place in my life. I’ve had great success in many ways over those last six months. I feel happier. I can tell the difference in my attitude. My thoughts are clearer, and my emotions are much better. But, I’ve been thinking about all the things I shouldn’t do that could be impacting my physical, emotional, and mental health. I know not getting enough rest, at least for me, is one that I struggle with. That has led me to ask, “Are there habits that impact us that we should watch out for or should be quickly changing?”

Happiness goes by many names for each of us. Some call things, possessions, happiness. Some call happiness travel and adventure happiness. Some find happiness in stillness and being in a state of peace. Whatever you call happiness, there’s always room to increase your happiness, especially when it comes to the small habits you do each day that may impact your overall happiness.

If you receive the Get Your Life Together, Girl newsletter each Tuesday morning, you may have seen today’s mindset reset as the tool of the week! Today, we’re taking it a bit further and expanding upon it. It seems fitting to talk about how our habits run against our happiness because I’ve received many questions about genuine happiness and how to be happier in the last few weeks.

So, that’s what you’re diving into in today’s mindset reset.

In everything, there is something for you. This simple sentence is quite powerful as it reminds us that no matter what finds us, we can use it to our advantage.

Today’s mindset reset question comes from Georgia in Memphis, Tennessee. She wrote in and said, “Danielle, I am actively working on my mindset. I realized a few months ago that I have spent a lot of my life living through a negative mindset. Something was always wrong. I never felt like good things could or would happen to me. And, drama seems to follow me no matter where I go. I want to change it, but when I looked up what a growth mindset after listening to one of your podcasts I became confused. There’s so much information out there. I thought maybe you could make it simpler and perhaps offer a simple exercise that will help me get into a growth mindset.o, spill it!”

Uncertainty does a number on all of us, even the most mindful. It makes us question ourselves, our experiences, and how we navigate the world. It’s almost a given for many that once uncertainty settles within their thought process, second-guessing every thought that comes after every possible solution takes over and runs rampant.

This week’s question comes from a personal friend. She texted me, “D, I’ve been thinking about what you said to me the other day about second-guessing myself. You said, ‘Second-guessing yourself delays your decisions and never changes the ultimate outcome. When you release the need to figure everything out at once, you’ll open your mind, allow for actual possibilities and solutions, and break the need to stress a problem to death.’ I’ve been thinking about those words. I know you are right, but you didn’t tell me how to stop second-guessing. I know, you know. So, spill it!”

You are in control of your thoughts. It may not always seem like it, but it is the truth. Staying in the present moment, thinking in the present moment, allows us to create control and helps us connect emotionally to the correct feelings, thoughts, and experience at hand.

Joy LeShay from Lubbock, Texas, wrote in and said, “Danielle, I listened to your most recent podcast about impatience. I haven’t missed a single episode, but this one has got me twisted! I can’t get your voice out of my head. All I can think about is how I don’t live in the present moment, and I feel like I have an Olympic gold medal in impatience! You walked us through a few things to help with impatience and present-moment thinking, but no matter how hard I’ve tried, I find myself thinking about the past or putting everything on tomorrow. Help! It’s actually making me frustrated and more impatient. I know that wasn’t your intention. I’m missing something! It all seems so simple until I try to put it into action. You’ve helped me in so many ways; please help! How can I keep my thoughts in the present?

Let’s face it, the state of the world is less than desirable in many ways, yet there’s also much movement and change that’s empowering and life-changing. What is happening in the world at large echoes what happens in our lives. We see negativity and focus on it, but there is another option.

Melanie Lush, from Florida, wrote in and said, “Danielle, I recently found your podcast and listened to an episode where you were talking about focus. Before I listened to the episode, I thought I struggled with focus. But, now I realize I don’t struggle with my focus; I struggle with focusing on the wrong things! If something has a bit of drama to it, is negative, or I feel like I don’t have a choice about the situation, I will laser focus. I spend most of my day in negative thoughts. First, thank you for opening my eyes to this because now that I know, I want to change it. And two, how can I shift my focus to be on something positive or better?”