Epi 127: The Rules of Engagement Every Couple Should Know with Gottman-Trained Therapist Laura Silverstein
Relationships are tricky, but with the right tools, any couple can thrive! You’ve likely heard of The Gottman Institute and the pioneering work of therapist John Gottman, one of the world’s leading experts on relationships, teaching therapists and couples how to best show up. With relationships adding or distracting from our own self-love and inner peace, I sat down with Gottman-trained couple’s therapist, author, and expert on love advice, Laura Silverstein, about being vulnerable, communication, the rules of engagement that every couple should know, how to fight fair, and what do if you find yourself parenting your partner!
Our conversation is full of small shifts you can put into practice today to help your relationship grow and be as healthy as possible.
So, let’s dive right in.
Key Takeaways:
00:00 Introduction
02:35 Laura Silverstein and the Gottman Institute methods
04:12 The “Four-Horseman of the Apocalypse” in relationships
07:26 Why it’s impossible to repair a relationship when in discord
08:29 How to build fundamentally sound relationships
13:41 Why we must have safety in our relationships and how to create safety
17:00 Personal rules of engagement in relationships
19:10 The “Sound Relationship House,” bringing in trust and commitment
26:14 Diving into communication so that we can be seen, heard, and experienced in relationships
29:57 How to use active listening and “I” statements correctly
37:03 Do you have to be your best self before engaging in a relationship?
42:10 The mistake of parenting our partners
48:05 How we can have the best love experience
51:07 Laura’s three gratitude offerings
There are so many takeaways from this conversation…from properly using “I” language, how to step away with there’s a heated disagreement, to meeting your partner’s need, to learning how to ask for what you need and want…Laura truly brought each of us a gift with her knowledge.
If you would like to follow her on TikTok, you can find her @laurasloveadvice or you can visit her website www.laurasilverstein.co.
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